As I sit in the living room of Hinds Hospice facility in Fresno, CA I have a million things swirling through my head. For those who don’t know, my Mother-in-Law, Sandy, has turned the final corner in her life and as my Father-in-Law said, “She now has a foot in each world”. Chris and I came up last night to spend Sandy’s last days with her. Today has been a pretty tough day for everyone, as we’re finally having to face to true reality that our beloved Sandy is moving on from this world. I could sit here and write about the millions of things swirling through my head, but I’ll keep it simple. 

I’m feeling pretty under the weather, battling the first real cold I’ve had in years (seriously, like 4 years!). I’ve been splitting my time between naps on the facility’s couches and siting with Sandy or Chris, during my last stay on the couch I noticed a pillow that said, “Honoring the Journey”. Of everything going on in my head and around me, this stuck like glue. Hospice facilities are truly wonderful places of support, guidance love when someone is passing and it’s little things like the quote on this pillow that put it in such beautiful and poetic perspective. My grandma passed early this summer and I can’t help but reflect on her hospice experience and how wonderful the staff was. 

To me, “Honoring the Journey” means many things. It means to honor the fight that Sandy has fought, honor the people who have supported her, honor her unwavering faith and belief in the Lord, and lastly, honor her wishes both in life and in death. 

The Fight: Honoring Sandy’s fight means realizing that Cancer is a hell of a disease that has no boundaries. It means honoring the fact that 4 years ago she was given 1 year to live, and that 5 weeks ago she was given only days to live. Sandy has proven that having fight is truly the strongest drug on earth. Anyone who knows Sandy will says she’s likely the most stubborn person you’ll meet, but it’s always for the right reasons. It’s say to say that her hard-headed and stubborn “Sergeant Sandy” attitude has kicked Cancer pretty hard back in the gut. 

Her Support: Sandy has surrounded herself with some of the most genuine humans you’ll ever meet. She has friends and family from every walk of life who would take this journey for her if they could. Aside from her incredible friends and family, there’s one person who has been by her side for virtually her whole life, that’s my FIL, Mike. Mike and Sandy have been together since they were 14 years old. Mike has taken care of Sandy for her whole life, and Sandy for all of Mike’s life. These two are truly soulmates and the finest display of unconditional love. If you follow Sandy’s support page or know these two at all- you know a little about the kind of love they they share and how deeply they care for one another.

Her Faith: Sandy is a Godly woman who honors the Lord in every step of her journey. Without Sandy’s faith, many believe she would have passed long ago. One of the first things Sandy wanted to do when she got home a few weeks back was get to church on Sunday morning. No matter her mental, physical or emotional state; Sandy knows she’s coming home to her Savior. She has taken time to remind all of us that she will never be “gone”, just watching over us from a different seat, a seat in Heaven. 

Her Wishes: Although I’m not privy on every detail, there are some things I know Sandy wants. Sandy wants the best for everyone around her, first and foremost. She wants us to be open hearted, vulnerable and accepting of one another, no matter how difficult each of those things may be. One of Sandy’s biggest wishes at our Thanksgiving meal this year was that we all would reflect on how the Peterson’s opened their home to people without. Sandy told us she hoped we would too open our homes and hearts, especially during the Holidays, to those who need a place to go. She urged us to give back and make a difference, no matter how small it may feel. Sandy wants us to carry on her legacy of generosity and love. 

In closing, although this time ahead is surely going to be one of the most difficult times for many, I hope that in “Honoring the Journey” we all can zoom out and find a way to channel Sandy’s spirit within us. For me, that means “be kind- but take no shit.” …just as Sandy always did.